Have you ever noticed how differently people talk about money in Pakistan? Some people see it as evil, others chase it desperately, and a few seem to have figured something out that the rest of us haven’t.

Your father probably told you something like this: “Beta, being rich isn’t good. Money ruins good people.” But then you’d ask,  Don’t rich people exist everywhere in the world? Why does money seem to ruin only us?

The truth is, money doesn’t make you good or bad. It just makes you more of what you already are.

The Real Problem Isn’t Money, It’s Your Mindset

Most of us grow up in homes where money is never discussed openly. We’re taught to work hard, but not taught how to think about money. This creates a gap. Some people learn to see money as a skill, something you can master. Others spend their whole lives chasing it without ever understanding it.

The biggest issue isn’t how much money you have. It’s your psychology around it. It’s what the society taught you about money (often misunderstood), and how you were raised to think about earning and spending.

Here’s what I realized: everyone goes through different stages when it comes to money. And your stage determines everything, how stressed you are, how much you can earn, and what opportunities you can even see.

The Four Stages Everyone Goes Through

Stage 1: Survival Mode

This is where most people start. Your mind is stuck on one question: “How will I get through this month?” You’re living paycheck to paycheck, stressed all the time, and your brain is too occupied with worry to think clearly.

The worst part? When you’re in survival mode, you can’t even see opportunities around you. Your stress keeps you blind to them. And if you see someone with money, you assume they either inherited it or did something wrong. You can’t imagine earning it honestly because you’re too busy surviving.

The way out? First, admit you’re stuck here. Then, create an emergency fund, even a small one. Save enough to cover 6 to 12 months of basic needs. This sounds impossible, but it’s not. You have to live below your means for a while. Yes, it’s hard. But it’s necessary.

Here’s something interesting: the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to store a year’s worth of food for his family. According to Sahih al-Bukhari (5357), “The Prophet (ﷺ) used to sell the dates of the garden of Bani An-Nadir and store for his family so much food as would cover their needs for a whole year.” This wasn’t just about survival, it was about peace of mind. Once you have that cushion, your stress drops, your mind clears, and suddenly you can think again.

Stage 2: Status Mode

Once you escape survival mode, many people get stuck here. And honestly, this stage is more dangerous than the first one.

In status mode, you have money. But the only reason you spend it is to impress others. A bigger house than your neighbor. A better car. Expensive clothes. The latest phone. You’re not buying these things for yourself, you’re buying them to show off.

The problem? This game never ends. Social media made it worse. Twenty years ago, you could only compare yourself to people in your neighborhood. Now you’re comparing yourself to people across the world. Someone always has something bigger, better, more expensive. So you keep chasing, keep buying, keep trying to impress.

And here’s the dark side: if you’re stuck in survival mode watching people in status mode, you start to hate them. You think all rich people are corrupt or fake. You develop a hatred for money itself. Because the only rich people you see are the ones showing off on social media.

Stage 3: Creative Mode

This is where things change.

After some time in status mode, if you’ve worked on yourself and your thinking, something clicks. You realize that buying things doesn’t actually make you happy for long. You get bored with the same old cycle.

Then you start asking different questions. You stop doing what others tell you to do. You start experimenting. You learn new skills. You find smarter ways to do things. Your brain wakes up.

At this stage, money becomes less important. It’s not your goal anymore, it’s just a side effect of what you’re creating. You’re solving problems. You’re building things. You’re learning constantly. And you’re having fun doing it.

This is when you become irreplaceable. People want to work with you, learn from you, buy from you, not because of your status, but because of what you can actually do.

Stage 4: Contribution Mode

Finally, after spending time creating and building, something else happens. You feel a pull to help others.

You realize you’ve figured something out that could help someone else get unstuck. You’ve learned lessons that could save someone years of struggle. And suddenly, you have to share it. It’s not a choice anymore, it’s something inside you pushing you to contribute.

This is when teachers, writers, business leaders, and real value creators are born. Not people who just make content for views, but people who actually solve problems and make life better for others.

And here’s the beautiful part: when you start genuinely helping people, opportunities come to you. Money comes to you. Respect comes to you. Not because you’re chasing it, but because you’re creating real value.

What This Means for You

The question isn’t whether you should be rich or poor. The question is: which stage are you in right now?

If you’re in survival mode, your job is to get out. Build that emergency fund. Clear your mind. Start thinking again.

If you’re in status mode, wake up. Realize that impressing people is a trap. Start working on yourself instead of your image.

If you’re in creative mode, keep going. You’re on the right path.

If you’re in contribution mode, you already know what to do.

Here’s the thing: a strong Muslim is better than a weak Muslim. A capable person is better than a helpless one. You need to become powerful, not to show off, but so you can actually help people and make real change in the world.

One person who figures this out can change their entire family’s future. And I believe you have it in you to be that person.

Stop hating money. Stop being afraid of it. Stop thinking rich people are automatically bad. Instead, understand it. Master it. And then use it to contribute something real to the world.

That’s what it means to design your own life.

I recently released a YouTube video about this on my Channel